Words Of Affirmation From My Lover

                               circa 2011

                              circa 2011

My husband and I spent some time before marriage preparing for the journey we were about to embark on. Among the things we did was read relevant books together and one of those books was The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It literally changed our lives. If you haven't read it, I encourage you to. It is an eye-opener and not just for people in relationships. It's for singles, married, parents, everyone. For the purpose of this post, here's a brief summary of what the book is about. The author states that there are five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Gifts. Every person has a primary and secondary Love Language in which they like to be spoken to. For example, Susan's love languages are Gifts and Touch and is more likely to respond to love being expressed to her through those as opposed to through the other three love languages.

I believe I have always been primarily an Acts of Service kind of girl but for some reason, that seems to have changed. As a wife and mother, I have found myself needing more Words of Affirmation than ever before. Actually as I write this, it just occured to me why I may be needing more words of affirmation than Acts of Service (you see why I say blogging is my therapy?) My husband has mastered Acts of Service but being a man of few words, Words of Affirmation are few and far between. So perhaps that is why my Love Language has changed. Besides, I don't know any woman who doesn't like to hear sweet words every now and then.

A few weeks ago we were returning from church; my husband driving and I sandwiched between the children in the back. The day before, he had attended a close friend's wedding and that must have sparked something because he spent a good part of the journey telling me the sweetest words I had heard in a while.

He told me how glad he was that he married me. How he has never for one moment doubted his choice. How my evolution into the woman I am today amazes him and how proud he is of me. I'm sure he has no idea that I shed tears because he couldn't see my face. He'll probably find out through this post just how much of an impact his words that day had on my self esteem. You see, before then I had been feeling really down. I was increasingly tired and generally impatient. My confidence was doing a nosedive. Something just wasn't right.

But his words were milk and honey, flowing into my weary soul. They breathed life into my tired bones. It felt so good to be acknowledged. We spent almost the entire drive talking about us. It was so wonderful to tap into the very essence of why we ever got together. 

He said he had been worried I wouldn't cope with motherhood considering how quickly after the wedding I had gotten pregnant and the fact that I was still studying. I had surprised and continue to surprise him by how I step up to every challenge. To have my mothering validated like that earned him MAJOR points, as you can probably imagine. His words were like a healing balm and my heart is still glowing from hearing them at a time when I wasn't feeling my best. His words reminded me that everything I am and everything I do is by the grace of God because if it were by my strength alone, I would have crashed and burned a long time ago. 

The relaunch of this blog is a direct impact of his words of affirmation. He also unknowingly pushed me into taking bold steps in the direction of one of my dreams, which I hope to share with you all some day. Friends do you see the power of words? Amazing!

So my dear reader, have you blessed your partner (insert other important people in your life) with loving words lately? Don't assume that they know how you feel or that because they know, hearing it isn't necessary. In fact, imagine that every night they go to bed they lose all memory of how you feel about them. Tell them what they mean to you. Really tell them. It could be just what they need to soothe a physical, mental or emotional ache, the rope that pulls them back from the edge or the extra push they need to begin an amazing journey. 





PS: Would you like to take a quick quiz to discover your love languages? Here's a link...What Is Your Love Language? Please share your findings with me in the comments section! 


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